Precious Little One

 
For him we've been waiting. As Geryll wrote several weeks ago:

Within the bounds of the universe
Grows a seed of its own the first
Out of ecstasy life takes root
Unknown yet received as the silent dew.

Within the bounds but unbound within
A soul awakes where none has been
Unfolds a world which, unconstrained
Changes the place herein contained.

Love is a seed which sheds its fruit
Upon hard earth or indifferent brute
Yet sweetens the place where grace has passed
And wakes the smiles like blades of grass

Precious little one, who might you be
Wringing the heart of its tears and glee
Now for the present we wait and see
Wait for the flower escaping the seed

 
On July 25 at 5:55 p.m. Geryll, the midwife, and I saw for the first time the person no one had yet seen- little Alex Samuel, weighing 7 lbs. 8 oz. 20 1/2 inches long. We delight in his wholeness and sweet disposition. So far he has been very contented, sleeping and eating well.

 
Tristan has had an emotional week of missing Mama's attention. If only he could talk more about what he's feeling! He loves Alex, often wanting to hold him. The trouble now is that Tristan has a cold, making me anxious about him touching the baby.

 
As I sat in the clinic, cuddling my newborn son, these words played through my mind for him, "God has given you all that you need in the package of your life to be an overcomer". I don't know what Alex will have to overcome. I do know that life is a battle. My mama heart wants to shield him as much as possible. In all this goodness I can still fear many things, realizing that as I embrace life I must also embrace death. I can't imagine living without Jesus' sustaining presence.

It has been a week of one blessing after the next. We would never have made it without the help of the grandmas. Our friends blessed us with phone calls, emails, gifts, cards, and food. I could go crazy trying to absorb it all, feeling so unworthy and so grateful.

Thankful for Song

Last Saturday morning as I cleaned my kitchen my mind churned out grouchy thoughts. All morning I'd been an emotional mess, perhaps partly due to the naughty donut I'd eaten first thing. I forced myself to sing words I didn't feel like singing but still wanted to be true, "Spirit of God, descend upon my heart." To my surprise, the grouchy went away immediately. The song changed my morning.

I married a man with a beautiful singing voice. He sings while he works. He sings our boy to sleep at night. Together we have a son who loves singing. Tristan often gets the pitch pipe (he calls it the "wa wa"), blows it, hums "do-so" and walks around singing in his mostly monotone voice. When Daddy is home Tristan loves to bring him the songbook and pitch pipe so they can sing together. I believe Geryll's songs nurture Tristan's spirit in ways nothing else could.

Today I thank God for the life giving, reality changing power of words set to song.

Staying Cool

 
In this hot weather we've been loving freeze pops made from a mixture of homemade yogurt and fruit juice. Tristan often has one first thing in the morning.

These days I live with a heightened awareness of each moment, knowing any day my life could change with the birth of my baby. So I savor the moments with Geryll and Tristan, anticipating the future, yet wanting to cling to the now. The reality of the out-of-control, unknown of tomorrow is more easily realized when you are nine months pregnant.

Again and again God reminds me of His lavish love for me. Last week He did it through my family. Living five hours away from them, a three day visit is glorious.

 

My niece Mia gave me a hydrangea. Very sweet of her, so we proudly took a picture together. Later I learned she had been clipping the whole bush for me. She has no idea how much that means to me.

 

My Mom cooked breakfast every morning, cared about my swollen feet, didn't let me help weed the garden, and took care of Tristan. I am proud to be her daughter. When I hear stories of the ways she and Grandma serve others I wonder if I will ever be that unselfish.

 

Here I am am with two of my sisters, Sheri and Sonya. I left knowing I'd received more from them than what I had given. Three days with them are way too short.